When you can be friends with yourself
When you can be friends with yourself, your self will unfold and be friends with you.
In that unfolding you discover that the self which you have been taught is bad, is actually not bad and is quite a good something.
Like finding out that you have a violin in your hands. In time you discover that can play really good music.
When you let yourself play your really good music, you find out that you are not playing alone, that you are part of something bigger, an orchestra. You have a role to play in that bigger something.
When you get comfortable playing your role in that bigger something, you realize that you are co-creating that bigger something. That you are the conductor of the orchestra.